We Shouldn't Be Surprised at the Eagles
- Matt McLaughlin
- Apr 13, 2021
- 3 min read
Well, here we are again. Another day, another bombshell article revealing that Jeffrey Lurie and Howie Roseman are nothing more than power-crazy, immature children.
In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, The Athletic dropped an article detailing the incredible dysfunction within the Eagles front office during Doug Pederson’s tenure as head coach.
If you do have access to it, I highly encourage you to read it, Bo Wulf, Sheil Kapadia, and Zach Berman wrote a fantastic article.
Now, time to furiously type away my anger.
*cracks knuckles*
So let’s just start with this–
“Four weeks into the 2019 season, Doug Pederson sat down for his scheduled inquisition. The weekly tribunals [meetings for the people like me who had to look up tribunal) with team owner Jeffrey Lurie and general manager Howie Roseman. In the meetings, Lurie and Roseman questioned Pederson about all aspects of his game management the week prior.”
Holy crap. That’s just the opening paragraph, which leaves the question:
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HECK DOES JEFFREY LURIE THINK THIS TEAM IS?!
Listen, I’ve tried defending Lurie’s tenure as owner for years considering he’s been the owner during the best years of Eagles football BUT questioning your Super Bowl-winning head coach on his decisions when he’s basically given talent the equivalent of a Penn State parking lot during a White Out game is absolutely insane.
How in the hell can this team succeed when the owner and boneheaded GM (oh just wait for your turn, Howie) are stalking your every move as a coach?
This may be difficult to process but Jeffrey, this team is no longer at the forefront of analytics. In fact, analytics consumed this team.
That win in Buffalo in 20+ miles per hour winds? Yeah, according to the report, Howie and Lurie WANTED MORE PASSING FROM A QB WHO ENDED WITH THE MOST SACKS AND TURNOVERS IN THE WHOLE FRIGGIN LEAGUE!!!!!
Hell, if it were completely up to Dumb-and-Dumber of NFL front offices, Doug Pederson would’ve been kicked to the curb before the 2017 Super Bowl run.
The only comparison for Jeffrey Lurie is John Vernon in Animal House and Howie Roseman is the whiny, bratty kid who threatens his dad’s going to sue you just for farting on him.
These two dummies couldn’t hit water if they fell off a boat in the middle of the ocean, which leaves me absolutely DREADING this season.
Will I watch? Yes because the hope of a new season is more enticing than any other drug.
Will I get my heartbroken? Yes, because there’s no other way this season ends with a coach that looked like a deer in headlights at the introduction press conference.
And it’s not like we can do anything. As fans, Howie is the teacher’s pet and if you’re a competent human being, you should know that no one likes the teacher’s pet.
Per the article, Roseman keeps his own draft board, which makes absolutely no fucking sense to me. How can you possibly send scouts to evaluate players and then turn around and keep your own rankings?
“Roseman is known to keep his own draft board, and scouts who spend months on the road evaluating players can feel marginalized when the rankings they’ve helped assemble are not followed. One source described Roseman pushing an assistant coach to give playing time to a recent draft pick while the assistant balanced conflicting recommendations from senior members of the coaching staff. Lurie, who regularly attends practice, inquired about a reserve’s playing time. There’s been confusion about why certain players were active and others were inactive on game days, with speculation centered on Roseman’s outsized influence on the game-day roster.”
HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?! How is this math textbook-carrying, book-diving, game-ignoring math geek of a general manager have THIS MUCH influence over an entire team that won a Super Bowl less than five years ago!
This thick-skulled math dork chose JJ Arcega-Whiteside over D.K. FREAKING Metkalf and then Jalen Raegor (in fairness, Raegor made some big plays last season) over FRIGGING Justin Jefferson and then decides to trade OUT of getting a GENERATIONAL weapon in Ja’Marr Chase, Kyle Pitts or DeVonta Smith.
Roseman is easily one of the worst general managers of all time.
He’s Jerry Krause minus five championship rings because that TEAM and that coaching staff won that championship. As far as I know, Roseman made a couple of signings that the Eagles have come to regret (Alshon Jeffery, DeSean Jackson) from a salary cap perspective.
We have uncaged, egotistical, immature children running this team.
But, I’m going to watch anyway the ship burn down to the ground.
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